So there I was in the doctors surgery nearly begging for something to get rid of my itch, this doctor was disgusted that I was having my third appointment and still was not getting any satisfaction.
Here comes the bolt out of the blue, the doctor was examining me when I saw her expression change, I asked her what was wrong and she came right out with it, she said to me, “I THINK YOU HAVING SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT HERE, JEAN”. To this day I do not remember getting dressed, all I can remember is her phoning the consultant and making me an appointment for four days time.
I walked home in a daze and just sat on the settee crying, the doctor did not come out with the word Cancer but somehow I knew. Anyhow, I do not know how I lived the next four days, nothing was said to my husband, don't ask me how I kept it quiet, I do not know.
Now comes the appointment with the Consultant. I went to his rooms, not the hospital, and the way his assistant was looking at me made me worry straight away as you can tell when somebody feels sorry for you.
He examined me, did not say very much until I had got dressed and was sat in front of me. He explained that I would have to go into hospital and have a biopsy taken as nothing can be seen properly by the naked eye. I asked him outright, “IS IT CANCER” and he just replied, "I AM GOING TO CURE YOU”.
I went home in tatters, still not saying anything to my family. I confided in my friends at work and then my boss sent for me knowing that something was wrong, when I told her what was suspected she could not do enough for me.
So here I am three days away from going into hospital for a biopsy and none of my family knew, two days before my admission my husband asked me what was wrong as I just broke down and told him.
As you can imagine he went into shock. Saturday arrives, the day of my admission, I do not know how my legs carried me into the hospital, luckily I was scheduled for 10am surgery so I did not have long to wait, by the time I had been booked in, seen by the anesthaetist, seen by the consultant and had everything explained to me they were coming for me to go down.
On this particular visit to the hospital I was only in for four days which left me with the harrowing wait for the biopsy results. I was again in tatters, I could not stay on my own so I spent most of the time with my sister just waiting for the phone to ring.
My Consultant promised to ring me as soon as he got the results through. Saturday morning came the phone call, my Consultant just asked me to go to his rooms the following Tuesday for a chat, I asked him for the results and he just went quiet and then said the results were positive!!
I just put the phone down and got hold of my husband who had gone to work . The next three days waiting to go and see the consultant were the start to another nightmare.
Tuesday the day for my appointment arrived. I went in, this time with my husband, and the consultant then tried to explain the extent of the surgery he was going to perform, he drew me a diagram and heard myself saying, “OH NO” and then everything was just a blur, nothing was going in at all, the next thing I had a cup of tea in my hand.
I do not remember walking to the car or even the journey home. My husband then explained what was going to happen, I had three days to wait for my major operation, my husband had taken in everything the consultant had said but also knew that I had blanked a lot of this out and my brain had just shut down.
The next three days were the worse of my entire life, I had mixed feelings, one minute I was refusing to go in, the next minute I was heading for slashed wrists.
The time actually did go quick as I had appointment with the pre admission nurse to attend to, an appointment for a body scan on my pelvic area to go to and shopping to do for nightdresses etc.
Anyhow, Saturday comes and I go back for surgery number two. The Consultant comes to see me straight away and again explains the procedure in the kindest way possible, the worst part was when he told me to expect a stay of 4 weeks in hospital, I had got it into my thick skull that he had told me earlier that I would be off work 4 weeks, what a thicko he must have thought of me.
I actually did stay in hospital for 4 weeks and could not have wished for better care, from the Consultant and all the nurses.
So ladies this is my cancer journey, It all happened very quick, I'd say a matter of 5 weeks from beginning to end bit after my stay in hospital I feel as though I have lost weeks and weeks of my life.
My major surgery was in August 2004
As you can see from my story TWO doctors actually missed this cancer and if I had not persisted I would still be walking round with it. I actually look at women in the street now and think, do they know what they may be walking round with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life After Surgery
I am now 20 months after surgery and what a journey this has been. I have mixed emotions about my life since surgery but now can honestly say I have recovered very well. There is life after cancer surgery, some days are better than others but on the whole I am okay. Recovery is all the better, physically and mentally through me joining our support group- VACO.
It is far better to talk to other ladies who understand what you are going though than talking to family members whom don't really know just how you feel, they are too close to you mentally to be able to cope. I have managed the long road, through early depression and physical pain and ended up where I am today, a person who can help others who are just starting this journey of surgery and recovery.
All I can say is if you are worried about a health issue, insist your doctor does something about it, you know your body better than any medical profession.
Jean aged 56
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